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The strangest thing to me about the puppies - Zer Netmouse
April 16th, 2015
02:06 pm


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The strangest thing to me about the puppies

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Date:April 19th, 2015 06:23 pm (UTC)
Sorry to pile onto your entry with all sorts of comments not central to the issue, but there's this behavior I've seen pointed out as a red flag for the whole complex of behavior tied to classical bullying as a pathology. I've found it immensely helpful in weeding out my own bullying tendencies, which I hope were mercifully small, as well as identifying what's going on in situations personal or political.

This is: when asked or told to stop an aggressive, oppressive, or hurtful behavior, a bully will immediately (and often sincerely) respond with, "You are oppressing/ bullying me by asking me to stop!"

A normal person will say, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were hurt by that! It was not motivated by malice!" A thoughtful person will ask, "Oh! Can we explore what about that behavior bothers you so we have a greater understanding of each other?" A straight-up jerk will say, "No, I won't stop." But the classic bully mindset is binary: there are controllers and victims. Controllers make others alter their behavior, and if I alter my behavior at the behest of another, I am a victim.

It's probable that you're aware of this, but it seems rather blatant in the worst of the Puppies' case.

Edited at 2015-04-19 06:26 pm (UTC)
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