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Zer Netmouse
July 15th, 2014
11:04 am

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On being Bisexual in a predominantly binary (Straight/Gay) world

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From:autopope
Date:July 15th, 2014 05:08 pm (UTC)
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Yes, and I was hearing that exact same shit 20-30 years ago.

Sigh.

Many people like to put other people in neatly labelled boxes. Bisexuality by definition doesn't fit. Our mere existence is an irritant, and so must be denied at every opportunity.
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From:netmouse
Date:July 15th, 2014 06:22 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, I haven't heard it recently, but I've heard it before. It sort of goes hand in hand with people who think bi folks are just indiscriminate and want to fuck everybody. We really don't. We just don't discriminate specifically/solely according to sex/gender.

But yeah, there's that whole sense of "you can't really be bisexual if you're happy being with just one person, especially if that person is a member of the opposite sex." It's like I would be an ok bi if I had settled with a woman, but settled with a man I'm up for suspicion and judgement. Or I'm invisible/ignored/maybe don't really exist. Except if I were with a woman and still said I was bi I might be getting the same "just admit you're gay" crap as R.J. is. I dunno.
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From:the_leewit
Date:July 15th, 2014 09:27 pm (UTC)
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Frankly, I'd be more alarmed if my spouse said "Well, if you can't fuck everyone you're attracted to, you'll be completely unfulfilled and forever unsatisfied in a monogamous relationship and probably cheat," than if she said she was bisexual--- but that's what you just said isn't it? It just seems... unconnected to how sexuality and partnership works, mono- or bi-.

And I'm reminded, somehow, of McKinley's Rosie talking about a stallion being put to stud: "Yes, but that's not what you do. Is it?"
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From:netmouse
Date:July 15th, 2014 09:54 pm (UTC)
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Well, and I think there may really be another axis, like, mono or poly (and just like all men who have sex with men are not homosexual, not all people who sleep with multiple people in the same time frame are poly).

But that's a whole separate thing.
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From:the_leewit
Date:July 16th, 2014 06:01 pm (UTC)
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Sigh. Why can't sex (and romance) just be about *people*? A brief Internet search reveals that we'll probably meet around 15,000 people in our lifetime. If we're statistical outliers, maybe we'll be sexually intimate with 200. (I have been an extraordinary slut, and have slept with less than one-tenth that number.) Can't the world just assume the answer to "Am I going to sleep with this person," is "Probably not, regardless of gender," and turn its curiosity to more fruitful ends?

Seriously, how is it anyone's business what my sexuality is, so long as I'm not scaring the horses?
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