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Zer Netmouse
December 12th, 2011
11:34 am


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Are you nostalgic about college?
Jumping off a post by Ben Rosenbaum, I typed up these thoughts about what I miss from college:

Probably the only thing I regularly find myself nostalgic about regarding my college years was regularly seeing my friends and aquaintances on a casual basis, with no pre-plannIng. At the time this was true both of friends in college and friends at home -at home my friends tended to gather at the local Denny's in the evenings, so when I was home from school I could just go see them. I didn't need their phone numbers-heck, I didn't know half of their last names. They were just there. And many friends also hung out at one or two houses in addition to That.

In college, it was the dining halls, computer labs, and sometimes an off-campus house (owned by the college, allocated to a group of students). My friends tended to gather in the back corner of a particular dining hall for meals, so if I felt like being social I could almost always count on having company. We were also computer geeks, so we would run into each other in the dorm computer lounges and the mathlan computer room.

There is no adult equivalent for this. I'm finding with my toddler that the playgrounds and various library storytimes are kind of this way, for stay at home parents, and I've seen people who open their houses on a regular basis for friday night gaming
Or a Sunday night group dinner, but there's not a shared space that is always open (or at least open every day, and late at night), where we might run into each other for a while and just hang out. Nothing like the front porch culture you sometimes read about in small towns or the cafe culture that was idolized in Friends.

I suspect for some people they get that feeling now through online spaces, like WoW, but I'm not inclined toward that. I get a little bit of it through twitter, I guess. But I'd also like to have it for in-person contact.

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:December 12th, 2011 06:43 pm (UTC)
I ran my social life very much like that in highschool and college.

Afterwards, Minn-StF worked like that for me. We had meetings every other weekend, and often somebody threw a party on the intervening weekend. We heard about those parties at the meetings, and sometimes made other plans (gaming sessions, say).

Then, when I was working at DEC in Minneapolis, my social group was thoroughly centered at work, so I just saw people and heard about things.

Then, when I moved back to Minneapolis in 1985, nothing like that really worked any more, and I'm doing a lot less social stuff ever since. I don't think I have the energy to be a really big social center on my own.
[User Picture]
Date:December 12th, 2011 07:21 pm (UTC)
I get why people miss that, and sometimes I do too--sometimes it would be nice to be able to go to brunch on Sunday morning and hang out for three hours with a rotating cast of friends, for whom there would be plenty of space and plenty of food nobody in our circle had to either pay for that day or prepare that day. But I think I was not very well-suited to that style of socializing even at the time. I spent a lot of energy trying to make sure that various people were all right and felt included. I also got peopled out fairly quickly and had difficulty getting enough alone-time. So while I can see the appeal, for me it's better this way.
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