Musing on identity|
"when we talk about it with others"
And, thus, you are defining yourself in relation to others. When we talk about it with others, we are getting their input. Their input is based entirely on their experiences or observations of others with similarities.
Identity is what separates us from others. Without an "other" with which to compare, we just are and there's no need for an identity.
How would you identify yourself without making any comparisons to others?