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Poison Letters - Zer Netmouse
October 4th, 2006
10:20 am

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Poison Letters
Hi folks.

It seems someone who, um, really really dislikes me is writing poisonous anonymous comments on LJ. A couple months ago there was one posted to my LJ about how I was cheating on Bill (which I'm not). On September 30th, it was a more elaborate post on Bill's LJ about how this person hopes he falls in love with this girl he's hiking with because I am actually a professional whore who isn't good enough for him, etc. etc. That's not true either. Well, the whore part anyway. Whether or not I'm good enough for Bill is up to Bill and I can make no assertions on that point.

Anyway, this is obviously a person who hopes to break up my marraige and/or ruin my and my husband's reputations. I don't particularly like that.

Anonymous posts are now screened on both of our journals.

However, I can't do anything about your journals, and my friends list is of course public, and for all I know this person is also badmouthing me at cons - there was mention in the last post of having worked on cons I've worked on. I thought I would go ahead and say that if you read or hear something poisonous about me, I hope you will a) doubt it, b) feel free to talk to me about it, c) delete it if it is an anonymous post - and send me the IP address if you track them. (And if for some reason someone posts this sort of thing in a non-anonymous way, well, I'd like to hear about that too.)

(38 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
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From:overthesun
Date:October 4th, 2006 02:52 pm (UTC)
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Well, I know you don't know me all that well, and that I don't know everything about your situation. . . But I have to say that whoever it is is obviously way off base.

From what I can see you are trying very hard to do the right things, and care greatly for that goal. You seem willing to sacrifice a huge amount to make things right that have drifted off course .. . . And I, for one, admire you for tackling those treacherous waters, and working so hard to make it all come out for everyone's best.

So. . . Good luck, and here's to hoping you can escape this nasty poison being sprayed in your general direction.
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From:netmouse
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC)
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Thanks. I appreciate the comments.
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From:stardustgirl
Date:October 4th, 2006 02:56 pm (UTC)
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Welcome to the nuthouse. I had to make a similar post back in July (which you can see since it's f-locked). I notified the mods of the communities that I belong to in order to give them a heads up in case my troll decided to spam them too. You might want to consider that if you think your troll will try to get their jollies elsewhere once being blocked from your LJ.

You can also use a stats tracker to see how often this IP reads your journal even if they don't post. I did that and discovered that my troll read me daily - sometimes multiple times in a day - which just seems bizarre. Why read the LJ of someone you dislike? Oh, wait... troll=no real life. I forgot. ;-)
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From:skylarker
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:29 pm (UTC)
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. troll=no real life. I forgot.

Exactly. It amazes me that some people have nothing better to do.
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From:maudelynn
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC)
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jealousy makes people do stupid things....
and then there are the just flat out nutbags..
people say things about me all the time so i
know exactly how you feel.
it is hard to let it go, but the truth always comes
out in the end and those who are your friends
won't believe it and those who you don't know,
and are friend material, will make their own
judgements.
no one, for the most part, thinks i am good enough
for matt except matt and you know what? that is
all that i really truly care about.

xo
dan'a
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From:netmouse
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC)
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*hug* thanks, hon.

lots of good thoughts in there.

Just one of the reasons why I, personally, am sure you're good enough for Matt, but you're right, these sorts of things are really between the people involved.

thanks for your support and empathy.
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From:minnehaha
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:03 pm (UTC)
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That's awful. I'm sorry.

But honestly, why would anyone believe an anonymous comment on someone's LJ?

B
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From:mrissa
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:45 pm (UTC)
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Yah, what B. said. I generally take the "two sides to every story, truth has many facets" approach whenever possible, but anonymous insults forfeit that.
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From:yix
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:19 pm (UTC)
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how annoying. bleh.

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From:dagibbs
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
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Well, I for one think you're WAY TOO GOOD for Bill, and should drop him and find someone far better. :)

Oh, wait -- why drop him first? Why not honestly and ethically with full communication with everyone involved have Bill and this other, or others in your life? I like that plan.

I'm sorry that someone is stalking you in this way, it does really suck. But, I know better than to listen to something like that. I hope that all your other friends do, too.
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From:netmouse
Date:October 4th, 2006 08:36 pm (UTC)
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*grin* Thanks for the vote of confidence.

--I actually doubt this troll person knows that you can honestly and ethically and in full communication be involved with multiple people at one time. Clearly they think that whatever I may or may not be doing, Bill is just an unknowing victim and I am keeping him in ignorance while stashing away my huge piles of money from my professional whoring. (please note sarcasm is on here.)

Among other things, I find such assertions rather insulting to Bill as well as to our relationship. Bill doesn't attend all conventions with me but he does attend some. I sometimes go hiking with him, but I'm not out there on the AT now. But still, we communicate, sharing our thoughts and our activities. Our lives are open to each other, whether we are together or separate.
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From:shadowriderhope
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)
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Ugh, how disgusting. :( I can't believe you're a target of such nonsense (of course, this is the internet, and nonsense abounds), and I'm sorry that this happened. I hope it subsides soon. :(

**hugs** to you and Bill.
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From:jeffreyab
Date:October 4th, 2006 03:57 pm (UTC)
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Sorry to hear about this Anne.

Who ever is doing it sounds like a real troll, someone disconnected with reality.

Hoepfully they will lose interest and go away.
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From:jvowles
Date:October 4th, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
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I feel your pain. As the very visible head of one of the country's largest gatherings of fans this past year, and as someone who's been involved in online fandom for about 15 years in various forms, I've seen some truly atrocious and hateful things written about me. It can be hard to stand there and take such abuse, and you sure shouldn't *have* to. But people with no life always have more time to spend being jerks than people with a life of their own. And jealousy, especially in fandom, can be a powerful motivator for those no-lifers.

My advice is this: take reasonable steps like you are doing (no anonymous comments by default), let people know that you're on to the troll, and don't let it get to you. If it gets any more serious than anonymous comments, report the offender to his ISP.

For what it's worth, just talking with you when Neil was at Balticon was very enjoyable. Nobody who's met you (even briefly) would believe the bullshit anyway.
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From:sleigh
Date:October 4th, 2006 04:26 pm (UTC)
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Don't worry -- I prefer to make up my own mind, especially about people I know a bit. And all of your many friends are going to be telling you the same thing: this cowardly person can say all he wants, but none of us are going to believe him even slightly. *hugs*
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From:novapsyche
Date:October 4th, 2006 04:33 pm (UTC)
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Dearest, I don't know what to say other than it's hard to believe there are such venomous people out there. *HUG*
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From:earthtomeryl
Date:October 4th, 2006 04:36 pm (UTC)
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Ew, I'm so sorry, what a childish and insulting thing to do. I wouldn't worry, though, I'm sure no-one who knows you at all would ever consider such things to be any more than disgusting nonsense.
*hugs*
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From:omnifarious
Date:October 4th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
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That's really irritating. I don't know why anybody would do such a thing. Though rainonthewind's ex-husband tried something similar when she and I started going out.

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From:dd_b
Date:October 4th, 2006 04:56 pm (UTC)
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Unfortunately it's kinda the cost of doing business in a free society. I figure people who do that sort of thing are pretty sick. But I've never knowingly met one, so it's hard to check how the present in-person. Sucks that they've picked you; some people get through their life without having to deal with it. So far as I can tell it's essentially random, though the stalkers of course don't think so.
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From:kgkofmel
Date:October 4th, 2006 05:16 pm (UTC)
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Have you reported this to LJ abuse?

Hugs to both of you.
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