Steven Silver returned to me by mail the notebook that I had taken with me on the california trip and then left in Chicago. While we were staying at Bill's Aunt's house in Fallbrook I read most of The Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis. Most of the book is about aspects of love - love of god, affection, generous love, selfish love, etc. It is a sometimes rambling exploration of possible thoughts on that theme. I took notes on a few sections that caught my eye. Now that I have the notebook I can share them.
This is actually the intro to a section that was of interest to me, on the importance of appropriately intimate courtesy (and not formal, fake, manners) within intimate situations and relationships. The intro itself is mildly interesting.
We hear a great deal about the rudeness of the rising generation. I am an oldster myself, and might be expected to take the oldster's side, but in fact I have been far more impressed by the bad manners of parents to children than by those of children to parents. Who has not been the embarrassed guest at family meals where the father or mother treated their grown-up offspring with an incivility which, offered to any other young people, would simply have terminated the acquaintance? Dogmatic assertions on matters which the children understand and their elders don't, ruthless interruptions, flat contradictions, ridicule of things the young take seriously - sometimes of their religion - insulting references to their friends, all provide an easy answer to the question "Why are they always out? Why do they like every house better than their own home?" Who does not prefer civility to barbarism?
(Copyright 1960 by Helen Joy Lewis; Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, San Diego, New York, London - A Harvest/ HBJ Book)