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Zer Netmouse
July 23rd, 2002
10:02 am

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wow, it's Tuesday already and I haven't written since thursday. huh. Well, it was a pretty good weekend, other than that it tired me out. Cory came for the weekend and he and Bill and I went down to the Art Fair with dad in the morning on Saturday. Cory and Bill gave up around 1 or 2 and headed home; I hung around with dad about another hour before we walked to Liberty and Seventh and parted ways. I said I would go help him with the garage but it was too late that day and Sunday I was just out of it so I still owe mom and dad that favor.

When I got home Bill and Cory were playing video games. Bill helped me make a cheesy ham and brocoli and pasta cassarole for the Grinnell Picnic and we went there around 5:30. That was a lot of fun. We spent a lot of time talking to Rikei ('01) and also her friend Sarah ('02) about various profs and other things. They're both grad students here this fall and I'm hoping they'll come over sometimes.

After the picnic we went to see Wind Talkers, with nickolas cage. That's a good movie. It has an important reminder to say about war: nearly everyone dies. It has some other messages, but that was a major one to me. When the movie ended I sat for a few minutes, crying and imagining how I might put my thoughts together for this journal.


The movie got me thinking about Bill's being sent to war. The next generation of code talkers is most likely programmers and computer users, so it's not that unlikely to draw a parallel in my mind. It reminded me of how every so often when Bill is on the road home from work or I'm away from him for a long time, it strikes me that he might die and I would have lost him and right then I wish very strongly to be pregnant. I have seen pictures of him when he was a kid and I feel that if I could only have that much of him to keep with me, it would be that much easier to let him go. There's no wonder in me at the phenomenon that lead to the baby boom - I have felt those stirrings, and powerfully.

But the truth is that raising Bill's child without Bill there would be a rather tragic process. I'm sure I would always be wondering what Bill would say or what Bill would teach him that I don't know or wouldn't think of.

And that brings us to the main point about war, which is also brought across in the movie - it's not just that nearly everyone dies, but also that we lose so much by that proposition - we lose their company and their courage, yes, but also their culture and their stories, their music and their laughter, their hopes and their intelligence and their love.

We need to not forget that as we contemplate the current situation in the world and prioritise our efforts to enforce peace.

Sunday morning Cory and I went to Lord of Light, a lutheran church at the corner of Hill and South Forrest, near campus. Jenny and her mom were going and I thought it would be nice to be there with them and also I hoped to hear another sermon from the man who spoke at Jenny's dad's funeral. Unfortunately he did not preach the sermon that morning, but Mr. Wolf did a pretty nice job and I was glad we went from the looks that Sonja gave me. Jenny and I got together later in the day for a walk after Bill and Cory left to see a wrestling show in Detroit. I was restless after that and stayed up until midnight, mostly editing Conjose bios.

Yesterday I got up early to meet the guy from Hutzel who was re-doing some of the concrete from the drain work in the basement. After he left I dozed a little, waiting for the roofers, but it turned out they weren't coming because of the impending storms. That was just as well, 'cause I didn't feel good. lack of sleep catching up with me, maybe. Around 5 it poured rain. I ran laundry and made browned, roasted chicken and a potato salad for dinner while listening to Drew Barrymore's commentary on the Riding in Cars with Boys DVD. Bill got home from going swimming after work; I made veggies with my first zuchini from the garden and we had a nice dinner. I had to go out in the garden and stand up all the tomatoes that didn't have the wire frames around them - the water had soaked the ground deeply enough that most of the stakes fell over. My mom is right, I need taller stakes.

We finished cataloguing SFOHA boxes and then ended up staying up late again. I woke up around 7:30 this morning and showered and walked to the corner for milk. The roofers are here now, and I just hurt my knees going up to walk around the roof with them. I'm going to take it easy and do some desk work now. AASFA meeting tonight.

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