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Lots of Goings On. Let me explain. No, There is too much. Let me sum up. - Zer Netmouse
February 23rd, 2010
05:07 pm

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Lots of Goings On. Let me explain. No, There is too much. Let me sum up.
As some of you know, my fiancé flinx and I are expecting a baby in August-- officially, August 31st. I am in my 13th week of pregnancy, just finishing my first trimester (so no, we don't know the gender yet), and this is my first fully public anouncement of it, though some people have noticed it mentioned in this month's Ansible in relation to our TAFF trip. So Yes, the appendicitis was even scarier for that, but, No, there were no problems, and the baby is fine.

Brian is working on a lab-based PhD at the University of Michigan (microbiology/immunology) of unknown duration--like most PhDs, it drags on, and in this case he is required to get published before defending, and he cannot control the timing of that--and he is unable to relocate to Ohio at this time without forfeiting that program. In light of the baby coming and the fact that my parents and extended family are all in Michigan, we have decided the best thing for us is for me to move back home and focus on preparing for the baby, which will be my/our first.

I have let the folks at work know that I will be leaving ARA/KAD at the end of the week, resigning in order to move back to my home town of Ann Arbor, Michigan, get married, and start our family.

This was not an easy decision, but it’s what we have decided to do.

So in between now and the baby coming, (probably in this order), we will plan our TAFF trip, I will move out of Ohio, we will go on the TAFF trip, get married, find a place of our own, figure out a delivery plan and choose a OBGYN and/or doula or midwife (recommendations welcome) and prepare for that, and no doubt in due course accumulate a bunch of new brightly colored plastic stuff with rounded corners and soft cottony stuff with animals and aliens on it such as one does these days for a new little person. I believe we have some classes to take, too.

We are actually just now chatting with Corflu and Eastercon/Odyssy folks about Programming, and it looks like some fun things are in order, so that's good. And being out of work and pregnant I should have lots of time to sort pictures and prep TAFF trip reports afterwards, though they might thus end up being overly chatting about side pregnancy things (apologies in advance).

I will miss being Scalzi's geographically closest friend and being in close proximity to the CFG folks, who have been awesome, as well as close to a couple other friends I've made down here, but we promise to visit, and you are all invited to our moving party, which invitation I will make more certain once we, erm, schedule it. :)

And it will be good to be living back among our Michigan peeps and family and close to a *pool* (I am frankly surprised how much I am looking forward to that. Yellow Springs has no indoor pools), and of course I am very much looking forward to moving in with my life partner and dear sweetie and starting this new chapter of our lives.

I feel like I should also mention that though Brian and I are both social hubs and have loads of friends (or perhaps because we are lucky to have so many friends but also have a lot of expenses and unknown changes coming up) we are currently planning to have a very small, fairly private wedding, hopefully followed later by a couple of receptions/parties in distant parts where we have other relatives and friends. So, um, we love you all but odds are you're not invited, and please don't take it personally. S'ok? Ok.

We do not know how long we will be in Michigan after the baby is born or where we will go next. That pretty much depends on what opportunities Brian finds and when he graduates. We'll keep you posted.


This has been your local neighborhood life announcement. You may now return to your regularly scheduled Tuesday evening activities.

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From:delta_november
Date:February 23rd, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
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Congratulations on the happy news!
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From:netmouse
Date:February 23rd, 2010 10:15 pm (UTC)
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Thank you!
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From:aiela
Date:February 23rd, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
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Congrats once again, and while it'll be nice to have you closer again, I know this is a lot of upheaval for you and I wish you all the best in wherever this journey takes you. :)
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From:netmouse
Date:February 23rd, 2010 10:30 pm (UTC)
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Thanks. it is indeed upheaval, and there are still a lot of unknowns, but we're slowly resolving them.
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From:tammylc
Date:February 23rd, 2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
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Lots of goings on indeed.

It will definitely be nice to have you back in Ann Arbor for a while at least!
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From:netmouse
Date:February 23rd, 2010 10:42 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! yeah, it will be good. Maybe I can even finally make it to one our your dinners!
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From:cathshaffer
Date:February 23rd, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC)
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You absolutely cannot bring a baby into a long distance relationship. I'm glad you'll all be together and I wish you every happiness. The best ob in town is no longer delivering babies, sadly, but I've heard great things about the midwife group at East Ann Arbor Health Center, and our pediatrician is in the same building--Dr. Kristin Krieger, in Adult Medicine and Pediatrics. Very good practitioner of evidence-based medicine, very compassionate and responsive, and mother of 6 or 7 children of her own. :-)
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From:pnkrokhockeymom
Date:February 23rd, 2010 11:58 pm (UTC)
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Well, I am pleased as all get out that you'll be local for a little while, at least! And I think it's so super about the baby!! As you are preparing please let me know if there is any thing that I can help you out with. Hugs.
From:ex_yakaveng
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:10 am (UTC)

*hug!*

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Tough choices, but I hope it all works out well. I am excited that two awesome people will be raising a new, possibly even awesomer (is that possible?!) person.
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From:netmouse
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:23 pm (UTC)

Re: *hug!*

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:) Thanks.
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From:grimfaire
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:18 am (UTC)
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The supreme being is going to be good to you and you'll deliver 9 days early... so sayeth the Grim.


muhahahaha
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From:minkrose
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:28 am (UTC)
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Congrats on everything!

Now that I am planning a wedding, I am more than happy when people feel free to NOT invite me. It's really expensive, and much more manageable if it's small. I hope it's an easy process for you!


I would love to hear about baby stuff. Our landlords are trying to conceive and it's not going well - some positive baby news is welcome here. Plus I'm taking notes for the future (at least, a few years in the future). My b-day is Sept 1 - it's a nice time of year for a birthday.
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From:netmouse
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:25 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! It's the second wedding for both of us, so I'm not sweating it too much, but of course there's a date to be picked and decisions to make in any case.

If you are interested in nitty-gritty details beforehand, lemme know and I'll add you to the pregnancy filter in which I actually gripe and ponder how I'm feeling and more details of what's going on.
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From:danguyf
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:44 am (UTC)
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Congratulations on the baby! And also the pending nuptials, I suppose, but AHH! BABY! YAY!! (squeeeee)

My advice is to not take any classes. Those things will just mess up your head. You and Brian both come from a long, long, storied line of men and women who managed to raise children without complete disaster befalling them.
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From:netmouse
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:31 pm (UTC)
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:)

Thanks. The only class I definitely have in mind is an update to our training on baby and infant CPR and first aid. (Brian was an Eagle scout and I had training about 5 years ago but it's time for a refresher). I have some friends with babies so I might just make the rounds with them and see if they'll let me practice things like diaper changes and bathing the baby with live models instead of doing the classes with the dolls, but we'll see.

I also intend to brush up on my sign language somewhere along the way.

I was one of the youngest in the neighborhood and the youngest of my cousins growing up, and I didn't babysit much, so I actually don't have much experience with babies. However, as you say, generations of us have managed it somehow, plus I'm reading good references like The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy which give practical advise about getting prepared and handling newborns and such.
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From:pnh
Date:February 24th, 2010 01:15 am (UTC)
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Speaking as an amateur historian of TAFF (albeit one who defers to the superior expertise of Dave Langford and Rob Hansen), I believe you will in fact be the first TAFF delegate to make the trip while pregnant. Cool!
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From:novapsyche
Date:February 24th, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
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*tight hugs*

I'm glad that you two have worked out this decision, as difficult as it must have been to do so.

I hope the move goes well. Please let me know how I may be of help.
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From:netmouse
Date:February 24th, 2010 12:33 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. The stress headache can go away any day now, if you please? Universe? you listening?

*sigh*

Will let you know if we can use help. Once we get back from the TAFF trip I'm sure I'll be seeking company as well. :)

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From:peculiaire
Date:February 24th, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
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Wow! Congratulations, you two. I'm sorry the situation requires that you leave Ohio and the job, but it makes perfect sense. *HUG*

Enjoy your nesting period!
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From:rose_lemberg
Date:February 24th, 2010 02:43 am (UTC)
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A very big yay on the baby news, that is very exciting! Fingers crossed for smooth move and easy pregnancy and delivery!
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From:kate_nepveu
Date:February 24th, 2010 02:56 am (UTC)
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Congratulations, best wishes, and may you successfully avoid strangers touching your belly, unsolicited advice, and labor & delivery horror stories.
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From:netmouse
Date:February 24th, 2010 01:00 pm (UTC)
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I've been repeatedly warned that there actually is no avoiding unsolicited advice but I will still hope for your well wishes to come true!
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