Zer Netmouse Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Anne" journal:

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August 12th, 2014
10:54 pm

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At the new house. (York, PA)
The trip here was relatively good. Some heavy rain Monday as we left MI but we got out before the Detroit floods.

Rosie was fairly patient. A lap desk helped, with drawing books, muppets on the stereo, reading books, walkie talkies to talk to her parents in both cars, Really Rosie on the stereo, dress up Dora magnets, swapping out which parent was driving with her, muppets on the stereo, a new Rainbow Dash stuffed animal (pegasus) to be companions with the Twilight Sparkle (pegacorn) I got her on the trip here where we left her with my parents and just brought ghe moving truck, bubble gum for the first time,new Magic School Bus books, muppets on the stereo, a night at Comfort Inn at Clarion, a new Lego Friends set (with which she made an airplane), muppets on the stereo, peanut butter silk pie at Perkins, her new rockin' electric guitar, muppets on the stereo, twirling at the rest stop, and finally Doc McStuffins on the kindle when I absolutely needed a break from the muppets.

Rosie was thrilled with the new house, as I still am as well, though on the way here through York she said she was "not too sure about this town."

We tried take out from the chinese place around the corner for dinner, which was decent, then I got Rosie's bed set up and Brian put her to bed while I went grocery shopping. Brought more food with us this time than on the move from NM to MI, but there was still some stocking up to do.

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July 30th, 2014
02:21 pm

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I think we're gonna like it here!
This is a good house. It has good light, good design. Good flow. Brian and I feel good here. Very tired, and stiff and in pain, but still good.

Most of our stuff is still in boxes, partly because most cupboards and drawers need to be cleaned before we can move into them. This morning I cooked breakfast and then scrambled to locate the silverware before it got completely cold. I had asked one of the movers who packed the kitchen to put a certain pile AND the silverware in a box labeled with our Open First tape. He eventually tossed the stuff from the pile into the middle of a big box of other things, along with the tape, which was not used to label the outside of the box. The silverware was at the bottom of another box entirely.

There's more to say but I have just eaten a late lunch and the couch in the sunroom is calling me to nap. As I told my mom when we reviewed our plan on the calendar: Wednesday we sleep.

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July 26th, 2014
07:03 am

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movers come at 9
I was up until 3:30 and woke up at 6:30. Like I told myself last night, I don't have to be functional all day, I have to be ready.

The 26-foot truck is parked out front. They made us go to Walled Lake to get it. Dad took Brian yesterday. Three movers artive in two hours to pack our stuff into it. Pardon me while I go pack some more.

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July 25th, 2014
02:22 pm

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Nice comments on Detcon1 from one of our Fan Guests of Honor
"Truly, fans are timebinders; but I've never seen a better example of it than DetCon1." --nellorat

Woot!

Full comments here.

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July 17th, 2014
09:37 am

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Yay yahoo (not)
As the main email/list administrator for Detcon1, I just started seeing warnings from my list server that it is unsubscribing list members due to excessive bounces. Looking at the bounce messages, I see the bounce is because Yahoo is not accepting the message for policy reasons.

We knew Spam would start to be a real problem, but as with allergies, the biggest problem is when the protective measures misfire.

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July 16th, 2014
04:31 pm

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Some of the Programming at Detcon1 featuring Diversity and Diverse Panelists
Detcon1 starts tomorrow! The whole program is online. I was just reviewing it and wanted to call out some of the programming that I am particularly pleased to see, featuring diverse panelists or discussions of diversity. (Note: Brian will be on Real Geek Girls at 5 PM on Friday and I will be moderating the What's New About Fandom's Diversity? panel at noon on Saturday. We will be attending Friday PM and Saturday and leaving Sunday morning. Then we move our household to York, PA on July 26.) I'm happy to note that this is not even all the panels our panelists of color are doing, just as much as I had time to pull out.

Thanks to everyone who is coming out and taking part, especially Pablo Vasquez, who has helped behind the scenes in the diversity effort, as well as on the Afrofuturism program, and Diana Pho, who interviewed Detcon1 about things we did to promote Diversity on Tor.com, and also Muhammad Aurangzeb Ahmad, who was on the diversity board and arranged that interview. Special thanks also to Sal Palland, for coming in just when my energy was getting low and putting some joy back into the process - resulting in part in the awesome postcard we made the promote Detcon1 in the Detroit area. Oh, and huge appreciation to John Picacio for being stellar to work with as always, and giving us so much diverse art to work with. Our T-shirt even features a kick-ass female character! I never get T-shirts, but I'm getting this one.

There are more people we hoped to have on the program that sadly had to back out, but I am still pleased to see what we do haveCollapse )

Hope to see you there!

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July 15th, 2014
11:04 am

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On being Bisexual in a predominantly binary (Straight/Gay) world
There is a great video out this/last week in which R.J. Aguiar goes on record about his bisexuality, being perceived as half of a gay couple, and facing down biphobia in the LGBT community.

It was especially interesting to me to watch this now in that I had two recent experiences that reminded me how I am default closeted as a bi woman who is married to a man, and has a child.

One of them was just hanging out at a bar with a bunch of my older sister's friends from highschool (and earlier) swapping college stories (e.g. "That story didn't have any sex in it. Where's the sex?") and realizing that I was sort of editing out stories that I might have told because of three reasons, one of which had to do with my sense that nobody in the room except me and my sister knew that I'm bi and I didn't want to derail the conversation to focus on my coming out in that social context. I didn't know if people *would* focus on that or make any sort of deal about it, but I didn't want to go into explaining myself right there, right then, and plus the whole conversation was very heteronormative and I didn't want them to all feel self-conscious about that because old friends, right? Right.

(The other second reason was that the conversation was also about parties and drinking and whether people were physically attractive or not, and my college experience was mostly not like that (I mostly don't drink, for example, and never beer, and we didn't have fraternities) and I'm a geek, and some of the sexiest people I know are not, like, conventionally attractive, and anyway I'm not into bashing people based on looks, so that was not really my sort of discussion anyway. And the third reason? My sister's friends. Not mine. These are, like, my older siblings. You may feel comfortable talking sexy stuff with your older siblings but I usually don't go there, and the couple of times I tried that night, it felt awkward, so I stopped. On the whole, though, it was fun to listen and laugh along...)

And then I went to my awesome Grinnell alumni facebook group Everyday Class Notes and got that off my chest and shared a story I hadn't shared at the bar, and had people relate and that was fine.

But the other experience I wanted to mention was when Rosie and I went to march with the Jim Toy Community Center (the GLBT place on Braun Court) in the fourth of July Parade in Ann Arbor. Everybody was friendly and welcomed us and all, and they liked our rainbow umbrella and "Justice for All" sign on Rosie's wagon, but at one point while we're waiting for the parade to start one of the women there came over to me and said, "I always wonder why people choose to come out and do these things when you're straight."

And there it was - the assumption on the part of a gay person that I'm straight because I'm a mom (I don't think she'd even been there when Brian walked up with us and then headed off to find a place on the parade route to sit and watch and take pictures). I didn't take offense or anything, I just explained that I'm bi and also told her about some of our family who are gay and have kids, so we were also there to march on behalf of their right to marry and have parental rights. But somewhere in there she surprised me by bringing up the notion that "You're just attracted to people's spirits, and it doesn't matter what package they come in." And I was, like, "No, I've heard people who are, like, omni-sexual or whatever describe it as a spiritual thing, but that's not how I am, I'm attracted to people's spirit, and their bodies, both men and women."

And that took me into another assumption some people make, which is that people who are bisexual are attracted to *everybody* or are otherwise hypersexual compared to some other orientation, and I don't think that's true, either. I told her about a pin I have that I used to wear sometimes. It says, "I'm bisexual and I'm not attracted to you." And she got that. "You just don't limit yourself to half the population," she said, and I agreed. Conversation ended amicably.

So, I don't know if I'd describe that as bi-phobia, but still, it was like, as a gay person, she had clearly not really gotten her mind around what it is to be bi, and wanted me to clarify. And there are also a lot of people, gay or straight, who don't really believe bisexuality is a valid orientation.

To go back to the conversation at the bar, there was some point at which we were talking about someone who is now out as a lesbian but dated guys in high school. And someone commented that she "might have been bi-curious" back then. In my mind, I was thinking, "Or maybe she was just bi. Maybe she still is." Because bisexuality or "being bi-curious" is not a stepping stone to being gay. It is its own thing. But it is much easier to be out and Gay than to be out and Bi. Much less explaining, whether to gay people or to straight people. So who knows if she's somewhere on the spectrum but chooses to just be gay, or if she's really just gay, or what. And I don't care. As R.J. says, the label you choose is your own business, and people should not go around policing other peoples labels or telling them what their sexual orientation means as far as how they should behave in order to be Doing it Right. What you do is not sexual orientation anyway, that's sexual conduct.

And on that point, if there's anyone reading this wondering, "But you're married to a man! Doesn't that make you feel unfulfilled, because you won't be sexually involved with any women anymore? Shouldn't you also be with a woman to be complete?" I just have to say, sure, there are a lot of people out there that don't necessarily match my husband's phenotype that I might find attractive, but that I'm not going to have sex with. That's true for anyone in a committed relationship - we see other people we find attractive, that we won't be involved with. In my case, some of them are women, and some are men. But no, I don't feel like I'm missing out because OMG women are sexy! They are. But so is my husband. :)

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July 14th, 2014
05:27 pm

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Geena Davis voices an unconventional princess on Doc McStuffins
Rosie's watching the latest Doc McStuffins, which stars a princess who wants to get herself down from her tower (she even wears a helmet while rappelling) and would like to try rescuing someone else instead of getting rescued.

Wait, I thought, is that Geena Davis?

Sure Enough!

Geena Davis is my hero.

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July 3rd, 2014
12:34 pm

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Getting ready to pack
People have started asking how the packing is going. Usually I tell them we're sorting, which is the precursor to packing. In actuality, digging down through the stacks of things also involves picking which projects you're going to try to finish before you put it all in boxes, which ones you're going to give up on and ditch, and how to pack up the ones you're going to keep so you know what was happening with those projects in the first place.

So for instance, last night I *finally* finished uploading and ordering a batch of photos to send to Brian's mom, including a very nice one of him and Rosie at February's Daddy-daughter dance that I *meant* to send her for mother's day. It feels like that's a perfect microcosmic representation of how this year has gone - two months too late to have the desired impact. I finally got the zipper fixed on Brian's heavy winter coat too. Just last month.

Meanwhile, work continues apace on Detcon1, which is in just a couple weeks. The Diversity effort has not been as successful as I'd hoped, or even as I'd thought it had three months ago, as some program participants have had to back out for various reasons, but our hopes were high and the reality is still good. (and the DJ for the Detroit dance is going to be AWESOME). There are a number of lessons learned that I'll hopefully write up after the con (or most likely, after we move). In the meantime, Jim C. Hines was kind enough to run a video in which Pablo Vasquez and I wax enthusiastic about what we did, and what we are aiming for. And Tammy and I filled out a more detailed interview with Tor.com that hopefully they will post at some point.

Today, the Detcon1 program schedule has been released. Here it is in Konopas, which lets you indicate which things interest you and create a personal schedule for yourself.

As for me, I just sent in the Application for our Water service at the house we're renting in York, so if that registers in good time we'll have the basic utilities taken care of. Can't settle Internet until we get there because comcast is stupid. But hopefully we'll settle that without too much trouble once we have lease in hand. Sent the deposit at the beginning of the week.

Brian has reserved a Uhaul truck for Saturday, July 26 through July 29, and hired help to pack us into the truck here and unpack the truck in York. We'll leave Rosie here in A2 with Grandma and Grandpa while we take our stuff to PA, then come back for various wedding and birthday parties the weekend of August 2, then we take a vacation! Camping. Quiet. It will be... strange but hopefully good. Then back to A2 to celebrate Rosie's birthday a bit early, get in her 4 year doctor's visit, make our goodbyes, and head to PA on the 12th or so, and we all start to settling in.

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June 30th, 2014
09:16 am

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They Might Be Giants: first album live, FREE!


Just go here and follow their directions to download it to your computer.

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